#1  
Old 07-16-2009, 09:36 AM
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TxStarr TxStarr is offline
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Default It's so hot in Texas that . . . (for Ralph!)

the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

the cows are giving evaporated milk.

the trees are whistling for the dogs.

you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

you can say 113 degrees without fainting.

you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

you can make instant sun tea.

you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

you've experienced condensation on your behind from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

hot water now comes out of both taps.

it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

a sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
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  #2  
Old 07-16-2009, 10:11 AM
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YorkArcher YorkArcher is offline
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Nice!!!! I knew there was a reason I stay "Up North"...
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:31 AM
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TxStarr TxStarr is offline
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I am thinking Ralph has the same sentiments as you . . .
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•The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
•Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.
•My God, I'm outliving my henna.
-- Lucille Ball
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:30 AM
ladybowhntr ladybowhntr is offline
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Now that is good!!!!!!
Even the lizards don't want to come out and sun themselves!!!!
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:35 PM
Deb Deb is offline
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Yeah, I'll put up with Ohio's slush, ice, and snow any day. I can always put on more cloths.....
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