Funnies

[Colorado Rick]

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.

Bartender says "Hey! Where did you get THAT??"

The duck says "Outside. There's a million of um!"


ba-dum- bing




A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.

Which was REALLY funny to watch because he would have seen the bar, had he not had the duck on his head in the first place...


ba-dum-bing chaaaaa



A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. With that a man at the bar said I don't want to drink at the same bar as this dog. The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the dog in the foot. With that the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on either side, and a black bandage around his sore foot. He goes up to the bar and says to the bar tender "I'm looking for the feller that shot my paw"


bada boom bam bing


Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."


boooooo




A duck waddles into a bar and hops on a stool. The bartender snarls, "What'll you have?"

The duck says, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender spits and says "We don't have grapes here, we serve drinks, now get out!"

The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.

The next day, the same duck waddles into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, irritated, says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve grapes here, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!"

The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.

The next day, the same duck waddles into the same bar and hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, infuriated, pounds his fist on the bar and yells at the duck, "I told you two times we don't serve grapes here, we serve drinks! If you ask me that ONE MORE TIME I'm going to nail your beak to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"

With that, the duck shrugged, hopped off the stool and waddled out.

The next day, the same duck waddled into the same bar, hopped on a stool, looked the bartender in the eye and asked, "Got any nails?"

The bartender, puzzled, said no.

The duck then looked him square in the eye and said, "Got any grapes?"

[Monie]

OMG!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!! Between you and Adam, I'm going to need an ACE bandage around my ribs!!

[Colorado Rick]

Thank you... thank you...

I'll be here all week...

[bullmoose38]

OHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ladybowhntr]

Isn't it great when Rick gets pressure on a project??? We get the comic relief!!!!!!

[Monie]

lol...yep! I just read through it again...and I'm still laughing!

[FFAHunter]

a rope walked into a bar and and asked for a drink

the bartender rudely says "we dont serve ropes here now get out"

the rope leaves and while he is outside tears him self apart and knots himslef all back together

he walked back into the bar and the bartender says "arent you the rope i just kicked out

The rope said "im a frayed knot"



Sorry. not quite as good but its the best i got

[Monie]

LOL!!! That's great!!!

[timba]

LOL I love the one with the nails

timba

[firediver]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer...and a mop