Old 03-27-2008, 10:20 AM
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 602
Default Funny deer story

I had this emailed to me, not sure if it's legit or not.....too many things just don't add up but funny none the less. My favorite is "The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation" I can picture the deer....giving the look, ok you moron now I'm gonna whip your A**.

For those of you who hunt deer, want to pet deer, or anything in
between....this is too funny!
Names have been removed to protect the stupid!

This is an actual letter from someone who writes and farms.

"I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it
should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out
a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw
my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
tension on the rope and then received an education.

The *first thing* that I learned is that, while a deer may just
stand there look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The *second thing* I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a
LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer--no chance.

That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and
started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having
a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally

The *third thing* I learned, the only upside, is that they do not
have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my
head mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its
neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At
that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the
feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against
various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some
tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't
want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined
back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my
rope back.

* The fourth* thing I learned!!!! Did you know that deer bite? They
I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab
that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method
was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that
claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my
right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my *fifth* lesson in deer behavior for the day.
will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves
are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --
strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best
thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you
in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being
twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it
hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

*Lesson six* Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the
danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up

and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
If the basic criteria for a vampire is a living entity that sucks the life out of you in order to sustain itself, then I know a few. They tend to hide out in Washington, DC.

Don't miss the new epidsodes of ARCHERS CHOICE. Mondays at 10:00am, Tuesday at 6:00 am and Sundays at 12:00 est!!
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Old 03-27-2008, 10:44 AM
Colorado Rick's Avatar
Colorado Rick Colorado Rick is offline
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 1,892

Good night! You would think that someone would see the hand writing on the wall here... I mean, when was the last time you heard of the "Brave but lonesome Deer Wranglers that roam the prairie with only the company of the 500 head of venison to keep them company."

Deer roping. Yeah that was a huge event drawing thousands at the National Western Stock Show this year!


That was as funny as the idiot who covered himself in Deer urine video!

Darwin may have had a point here folks...
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Old 03-27-2008, 04:54 PM
marty planz's Avatar
marty planz marty planz is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: IL
Posts: 53
Default ....ooohhh....deer

yes when this was emailed to me I couldnt stop laughin...just pic. his suprise
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Old 03-27-2008, 09:46 PM
cpd realpolice cpd realpolice is offline
Black Bear
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: chicago
Posts: 382

That's hilarious.
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Old 03-28-2008, 06:59 AM
nhbowhunter21 nhbowhunter21 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pembroke, NH
Posts: 583

Ropin and Dopin' Yippie IO Deer Daddy! There sure was a lot of foot stompin (hoof stompin) going on there. I can't believe that anyone who could write that well was stupid enough to do something like that. Hehehehehe! He got what he deserved.

For his next adventure he'll probably sneak up on a sleeping grizzly and pinch his ear. I wouldn't wait for him to write the story. Probably won't be coming back from that one.
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