Thread: Newbie Help
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Old 05-23-2009, 09:36 AM
Colorado Rick's Avatar
Colorado Rick Colorado Rick is offline
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 1,892

Y'all are goin about this completely wrong.

This is all you'll need for a beaver trap:

1 disco ball
3 or 4 game cameras - with flash - not infared
a 4 x 4 foot dance floor
a boom box that plays CD's.
6 or 7 small tables and stools.
LOTS of booze. We all know what alcoholics beavers are.
2 reams of colored paper and an out of work college student.
1 printer.

Hang the disco ball on a limb over your dance floor. Set the tables and stools around the dance floor. Do all this preferably close to a fallen log that you can use as a bar. Hang the game cameras all around the dance floor. Print up a ton of fliers to have the out of work college student post up all over the place.

Once word gets out about the new beaver bar... you'll be over-run. Wait for the little boozers to pass out, then have the college student pick them up off of the ground and you're done.

Now if the college student flakes out on you... all is not lost. You simply grab the box you stored all this stuff in and convert it to a coat-check room. No muss - no fuss. The beaver simply check's his or her pelt at the "door"... and off you go. You may want to rent a wolf or a coyote. Why?? Well to act as the complaints manager/scapegoat when the beavers want to file grievances about their missing coats of course.

For the ones that don't pass out, you can clean up on them because you can use the sim cards in the game cams and charge them $10 for a picture of themselves on the floor shakin that beaver money-maker, or when the mayor of beaver town is caught with beaver town floozy... blackmail photos.

No busted fingers... you spilt the revenue from the pelts/photos 80(you)/20(him or her) with the college student.

The beavers win... the student wins... you win.

Slight modifications can be made for deer season. Instead of an alcohol bar... you make it vegan.

Last edited by Colorado Rick; 05-23-2009 at 11:55 AM.
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